I think you should read or listen to this essay before you watch the video. I don’t know. Or actually watch it then read then watch again? Actually, I don’t really care. I hope you enjoy this essay and video! If you do give it a like or a comment!
What would YOU have done in this situation!? Thanks for reading!
I performed on a show last week in Philadelphia called RISK! It is a live show and podcast that has become a staple for storytelling world for almost 15 years now. It was a real honour to get to perform on RISK!, it was a little check off the bucket list of things I wished I would do one day back when I first became aware of comedy and storytelling 13 years ago.
I told a brand new story that began in November of 2021 and concluded in January of 2022. You won’t get that story here, you’ll have to come see me live in the coming months for that! But the story features romance, a bag full of money, secret identities, a nefarious criminal underworld and sex. It has all the makings of a Hollywood blockbuster or pulp novel, I knew the audience would be engaged and on the edge of their seats and yet…I was afraid to go on stage and tell it. This is the type of story that I should be thrilled is in my life so that I can do shows like RISK! and sell tickets to entertain people. But that is never the case at first because well, it was my actual life and it involves actual pain and embarrassment and some heartbreak. It is never my first instinct to share that with anyone, it is my 3rd or 4th instinct but not my 1st. And then after I give in to that 4th instinct and submit it to a show like RISK! because their motto is ‘True Stories Boldly Told’ and I think:
‘THIS IS TRUE and I WILL TELL IT BOLDLY and so many other great comedians have done this show. MARC MARON, TREVOR NOAH, KUMAIL NANJIANI, JENNY SLATE!' I WILL BE JUST LIKE THEM ONE DAY! Some day…In the FUTURE!’
Then you are working on your story and tightening up that final conversation with the friend that gave you the perfect advice and it ends with that perfect punchline that makes the story sing with humour and melancholy and will elicit the applause that represents the audiences feelings of joy for observing a story of human vulnerability on a stage. But the reality is that final bit of the story was actually 6 different conversations with 6 different friends over the course of 3 months that really really sucked.
So I am in a cafe before the show tightening that final bit up and struggling with the balance of the desire to be truthful, while being humorous and within my 15 minute time slot. I was a bit stressed out and I just put my notes in my pocket and reminded myself what the job was. To tell a true and interesting story. And that takes preparation, yes, but at the end of the day, you are just talking to people.
So I am on stage, the show is going swimmingly, it’s sold out and people are engaged and laughing and with me and my story every step of the way. Then I get to the end, the part I was struggling on how to execute correctly and to my left I see a giant wide brimmed hat walking up the steps and onto the stage and walking towards me. This fashionably dressed blond lady walks onto the stage and just stares at me. I stopped my story and look at her confused.
She reaches both her hands out.
Was I over my time? Was this a bit that was set up by the producers of the show?
She said ‘A Hug?’
I gave her a hug and she said,
‘Are you ok?’
‘Uh ya ya, I am great. Thank you.’
Then she walked off the stage.
This was like…the complete opposite of Chris Rock and Will Smith. Damn it, that would have been a great response in the moment on stage. Instead of…
‘Will Smith just slapped the shit out of me’
I could have said…
‘She is like nice Will Smith…This girl just hugged the shit out of me.’
That would have been a great reaction. I also could have also said…
‘Hey lady, what the fuck are you doing? This is a performance. And MY performance by the way. There may not be a 4th wall but also…cmon.’
But you know what? I wasn’t mad, I wasn’t extra witty and I didn’t roast her. I just felt present and actually kind of thankful. I thought to myself.
‘This has never happened to me before. 13 years since I first did stand up or storytelling. This is the first time.’
I was thankful but I don’t want to give anyone any ideas, this should not be repeated. I found out after the show that the lady was very drunk which makes sense. But for this particular story and moment, the first time I was on a storytelling podcast I had dreamed about being on one day in the future, the first time telling yet another very personal true story from my past, it was a nice little splash of water on the face.
Every story worth telling is a little scary and a little embarrassing the first time. But they also always happen in the past and we are now in the present where anything can happen. Heartbreak, death, love, you could find $50,000 in a backpack on the subway or you could be diagnosed with toe cancer. Or you could be on stage telling a story you lived through and some drunk lady offers you a hug because she thinks you need one. Well, I didn’t need one because I was sad, I wasn’t anymore, that was just in the story, a bit of a performance of feelings I felt a year ago. But I did need the hug because in the midst of a story from my past I was able for a moment to be completely present.
A Drunk Lady Walks On Stage During My Set