Bonjour friends. Here is the audio to listen to my tender voice read to you. OR go ahead and read it. But more importantly, say something in the comments if you feel so inclined. Also…I have a few really fun things coming your way in the coming weeks. So stay tuned. Ok. Enjoy
You just…never…know.
That is what has been playing over and over in my head for the past 2 months. When it comes to the future you don’t know most things. You think you do because the sun comes up each morning, but that is the Earth and the Sun working together. They are pretty consistent, us humans on the ground, we are in a more precarious position.
It was Labor Day weekend, I was at the beach celebrating the past few months of hard work with a final dip in the ocean, the sun was out and my heart was full after making it through a particularly challenging summer of work.
The waves were particularly big due to some far off hurricane affecting our beach from afar. That just meant more fun. My body peaking higher on the water, cruising faster on the crest of wave and as the wave crashed I felt a tamer version of those stomach butterflies you get on a roller coaster.
My friend Dylan and I were out there for hours getting tossed and thrown by each consecutive wave and then we looked at each other and said ‘Last wave of the summer?’ We said that very thing, out loud, I verified this with him later. We had been body surfing long enough and it was time to get to a beach bonfire and call it a summer, until next year. Also this was a huge wave, which meant faster, farther, funner (it’s not a word but I can’t pass up that alliteration). This wave was the last wave of the summer.
The wave grew and grew as it came closer, I started to swim in the direction of the shore to catch the swell just right. Suddenly I was swept up like a father throwing his toddler up in the air, my body’s direction turned 180 degrees and I dropped. The wave grew so quickly it sucked all the water from the shore like it possessed gravitational force. I was thrown to the ground from 7 feet with no liquid below to softern my fall and directly onto my head.
SNAP.
I heard the snap, it was loud and unmistakable. SNAP. And I tumbled up further onto the shore. As I was rolling, my mind was completely calm, I was silently and slowly thinking
‘I really. really. really, really hope that my neck is not broken. Whatever that snap was…I hope it’s not that’
Then a tattooed body builder ran up to me as I lay on the beach.
‘FAWK MATE. YOU FAWKIN ATE ONE MATE.’
He was from New Zealand from the sound of it. I lay there looking up from the ground and I saw he had tattooed wings creeping out from the waste his bathing suit. Just like people report to have more awareness as a car accident is happening, things slow down. I was simultaneously praying to God my neck wasn’t broken and also wondering what the base of these these tattooed wings lead to because it really seemed if I could picture the rest of the tattoo, well, logically, his penis would have been the body of a bird.
‘Don’t get up mate. Don’t move. Ya’llright? Can you move your fingers and toes.’
I could. I wiggled them. I stood up slowly.
‘Mate, I do ocean rescue back in New Zealand…I’ve seen alotta blokes git paralyzed that way mate. Not tryin to freak ya’out.’
I was freaked out but I just said 'I think I am ok. Thanks man.’
The man promptly got all of his kids out of the water. He went and wrangled 4 boys, none looked to be over the age of 10 and told them beach day was over. They complained, they wanted to keep swimming.
‘That guy over there almost just died, get outta the WAHTAH NOWWWW.’
Him protecting his kids from the waves solidified how serious my crash landing was. Also, I wonder what his kids thought of his tattoo? Do they ask him about it? I mean, they must be curious and it would be a very serious crime for him to show a child what those wings led to.
As I walked back towards my friends I let the tattoo take over my thoughts in an effort to distract from the fear of what may have just happened to my body.
Dylan was already at our beach towels.
‘Dude that wave was nuts. So fun. You look like you got rocked? You ok?’
That was September 1st. I haven’t been able to turn my head completely since then. I can’t do yoga. I can’t run. There is constant pain in my neck and shoulders. The tightness begins when I wake up and the aching and soreness sets in about noon until the end of the day. BUT…I can walk.
The doctors say I sprained my neck, no fracture, no break. The noise I heard must have been my neck cracking like when you crack your knuckles. But I heard it, loud and clear.
I have never broken a bone or had a major surgery. I am very thankful for my health and like any healthy person it is once something is taken away that you realize how nice it was to have. I never expressed any gratitude to my body when someone would yell my name and I could just turn my neck rather than turning my entire body around like a minion or a batman meme. Both of which my friends have sent me to gently mock my infirmity.
Last week the pain got so bad I really didn’t know what I would do if it continued forever. So I did what the doctor told me to do 8 weeks earlier, start physical therapy. When the doctor diagnosed my neck as sprained, not broken, he prescribed a minor painkiller, an anti inflammatory and most importantly physical therapy. I got the pills and decided I would grit things out for a few weeks instead of signing up for the most important part of my healing journey. Also, Physical Therapy would be out of pocket due to my insurance plan. So I didn’t put it off just because I am stubborn, I am also cheap.
My plan had been to sit carefully day after day hoping I would make it back to 100 percent simply by not making it worse. That was not working. Each day my neck muscles getting tighter and the pain traveling up and down the various muscles in my back. Each day constantly replaying that wave, that moment, that drop, that crack, that New Zealanders tattoo. My mind taunting me with the various outcomes of that day ‘The last wave of the summer, you said it OUT LOUD. You should have quit one wave earlier!’
Well, you just never know when everything will change in an instant. Sure, I am thankful I am not paralyzed and I can walk, but I would love to be able to run or do yoga or and turn my head like a normal person so my friends will stop sending me this meme.
Well, I started Physical Therapy last week and it’s helped my neck, my back but it’s also helped..my pussy and even my crack. For those that don’t know why I said it. it’s a rap song and I just couldn’t resist, ok back to the essay.
The therapist massaged my neck and upper back, confirming these muscles could not have been tighter, it was as if they had sitting their hardening for 2 months. She gave me 5 exercises to do each day, they range from leaning my head to the right and left for 30 seconds at a time to leaning through a doorway. I have been doing them each day and the pain is slowly diminishing and the knots are beginning to loosen. To be on a road to recovery no matter how slow, brings much more peace of mind than waiting on the train to recovery when they MTA worker already told you that the F line isn’t running on weekends and you should take the B instead. ‘Well, thank you Mr. Train man but I will just sit here and wait for the F even if it takes all weekend, alright buddy!’
I am as in control of the future as I was minutes before that wave came, but these comically simple exercises are working wonders for my mind because they are placing it in the present, which is where the mind ought to be, because that is where your body always is.
This is crazy! I'm wondering how you're feeling now. There's also so much comedy in people rejecting physical therapy, convinced we don't need it lol. I'm also loling at the batman meme
Jesus Kevin ! I did not know that you were “un casse cou” literally “a broken neck” ! What a story ! Well “bon rétablissement 😀✌🏼. Have you seen the iron Mike exercises to muscle the neck ? But please if you try this, break a leg. Bruno Saiz from Paris. Ps : how my music sound in the street of New-York ? Your feedback counts 😀