The Dark Prejudice Against Kevins In France
I just found out I have the worst name in France and there is a New Yorker Article to explain why. Read or Listen!
Good Morning! I hope you enjoy reading this and guess what, you don’ have to read. You can listen! All of my articles have audio versions of YOURS truly! So give it a listen, that has been the most fun part of this project! Thank you!
I have come across some very interesting information about the name Kevin. In France, it is not a good look. Last week I was told by someone I had just met that I should consider going by James while I am living in Paris. I asked them to explain to me why Kevin is a name that is frowned upon by our fare French brothers and sisters and they said ‘Kevin is like a name for people who have lights under their cars’ and their friend said ‘Ya, Kevin is like someone who has a lot of kids he doesn’t see.’ Well, let it be known here and now, I have not owned a car in 20 years and I visit EVERY single of one my children, thank you.
It was a bit surreal realising people are perceiving me so differently than how perceive myself. I have been on my best behaviour! I have been taking great pains to not be as loud as I typically am, so as not to be the seen as another annoying American. I have tried to speak in friendly casual French when ordering drinks or coffee, to show respect for the culture. Little did I know that every time I introduce myself politely I drop to the bottom of social hierarchy just because MY people like seeing the street lit up below our vehicles!
I honestly thought this was an elaborate little prank being played on me until I googled ‘Kevin, Name, France’ and a New Yorker articles popped up, published on August 9th, 2022 ‘How Kevins Got A Bad Rap In France’. This prejudice is so widespread they are writing about it at America’s most pretentious magazine! I would have read the article but I was too busy flipping through Maxim looking at hotties. Reading Maxim seems like it lines up with the French view of a Kevin, I think? I still don’t even know the specifics yet of what we did wrong yet! Let’s dive in to this article and learn together.
The subtitle is ‘Like to-go coffee or athleisure, the name strikes certain French people as a gauche Anglo-Saxon import’. Ok, first off, I don’t wear athliesure and I am personally against it, I don’t think anyone should feel comfortable in their clothing. And secondly, I get it, you want to sit at your cafe and smoke and read and think. I am with you. That is why I came to Paris! I am one of you! The rest of the subtitle reads:
‘—and some Kevins want to change that.’
Damn it, I just found my mission. I will be the gauche anglo Saxon import to change the minds of the famously stubborn French. This Kevin is the man for the job!
Here is the opening of the New Yorker Article.
‘An observer in America might be forgiven for wondering what all the fuss was about. Why are there Kevin memes and Kevin skits and Kevin jokes and even a Kevin novel, from 2015, Why did the French go around saying things like “You can be a Kevin and succeed in life”?’
Memes, skits and jokes I can abide but there better be a some conflict and an airtight story to get a novel out of this Kevin bit. Actually I just googled it, it’s got a great title ‘Kevin’s Revenge’. That will be me by the end of this article if they keep defaming my name. According to this article Kevin was a really popular name in France from 1989 to 1994 and there were even about 12 girls named Kevine every year during that time. They attribute this to Dances With Wolves directed by Kevin Costner and the cinema masterpiece Home Alone, the story of young Kevin Mcallister.
Kevin “embodies the cultural emancipation of the popular classes.” Traditionally, the bourgeoisie dictated the fashions for names, which then percolated down the social scale to the middle and working classes.
OK, so it sounds to me like people used to get their names from the upper classes and when the working classes named their own kids whatever they wanted people got pissed. And those people just happen to name their kids after films like Home Alone rather than the director of Breathless, Jean Luc.
Their name was once extremely popular in France but has come to suffer a bad reputation, conjuring, for its detractors, “car-tuning fans, reality TV, tracksuits—” an uncultivated, vulgar, narrow-minded and phallocratic man.
Ah, car tuning! There it is! That is exactly what I first heard from someone on the ground, in the wild here in Paris ‘people who put who have lights under their cars.’ I am trying to think of a name in America that would have this type of stigma against it. The only thing that comes to mind is when we roasted Blanket, child of Michael Jackson and Apple, the child of Chris Martin and Gwyneth Paltrow, but that was because their names were untraditional and perhaps stemmed from a mocking of celebrity. But us Kevin’s are working class people and we are no different than you, we put my tracksuit on one leg at a time just like you fancy people.
During this year’s Presidential election, the extreme-right candidate Éric Zemmour condemned the name as “a symptom of de-France-ization and Americanization.” I asked Coulmont (Sociologist) if he could think of any other first name that provoked such strong feelings. “The name Mohamed, perhaps,”
There it is, the dark underbelly of hatred and prejudice. Kevin’s are coming to take away your country, along with the Muslims. Until that line in the article I was truly considering going by James while I was here. I don’t like the idea of someone secretly thinking they’re better than me because of a name I have been proud to have my entire life. Damn it, my Grandfather fought bravely in the Korean War! My father raised, provided and loved me every day of my life. My namesake took on the wet bandits and brought them to justice first in his home in Chicago and then in my hometown, New York City, in the far superior sequel, Lost in New York. I WILL NOT BACK DOWN! I AM A KEVIN AND I AM PROUD!
Moral of the Story: Don’t change your name for anyone but yourself! Unless it’s Pierre or Jaques or some uppity pretentious bourgeois ass name. See…doesn’t feel good does it!
Wear your name proud Kevin! 😉
I sent this to my dad and he was always a very present father growing up and to the best of my knowledge has never had lights underneath his car. So if you need backup let me know.